The Hess Report


Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Winning the War: Marketers

A long time ago... while watching Justice League...

Maddie: Don't turn! I want the commercials. They tell me what to like.
Me: (Grrrr. Fume.) Commercials lie to you.
Maddie: Huh?
Me: Do you think that toy is as much fun as it looks like?
Maddie: Uh huh.
Me: When you play with it, will there be that music?
Maddie: No.
Next commercial... for a toy which she has, but doesn't play with anymore...
Me: Is Lite-Brite that much fun?
Maddie: No.
Me: See. They're lying about it.br>
Maddie: Yeah.

She really got it, so I considered that a small battle won. Then, only a week ago, while watching I'm-not-sure-what, which isn't a good sign to begin with, and the commercials come on...

Maddie: I know they're lying.
Me: Yep. They are. (Good girl!)
Maddie: I like to watch them anyway.
We both laugh when the guy gets bonked. It's a funny commercial.
Me: (Grrrrr. Fume, at myself. But at least I'm honest.) Me too.
Maddie: It's okay that they're lying?
Me: As long as we remember that they're lying, it's okay.

So it's even up for the marketers. Then, just this past weekend, we're heading home from Memorial Day in a nice house on the Chesapeake. I can't stand those cramped, not-very-good, touristy "fresh" seafood places and boutique restaurants with that Capeish/Bayish kind of theme, and we want to eat with my parents who are under pretty strict time constraints, so we decide to partake of our last meal together for the weekend at... McDonald's.

We enter the restaurant.
Lucy's arms spread out before her, like a child who's just found their dog that had been lost.
With a look of beatific spleandor on her face, she cries "Ronald! We're back!"

And thus have the marketers attacked and completely demolished my exposed almost-three-year-old flank whilst I concentrated too heavily on my five-year-old front line.

Bastardos!


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