The Hess Report


Saturday, November 13, 2004

Violet V

Lucy is fascinated with the scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in which Violet Beauregard is transformed into a human blueberry. When it's time for imaginary play (which is basically all the time around here), Violet is her most frequent alter ego. She doesn't really do anything that Violet does, except to occasionally say "It's gum, and that's for me!" just like in the movie. But she refers to herself as Violet and apparently that's enough.

Recently, we have been treated to a series of plays featuring Violet and her adventures. They are generally plotless and involve Violet picking things up and putting them down, or waving to the audience, or reading out loud. In standard Hollywood fashion, she has given each its own number and tag line. So far, we have seen:

Violet 1: Violet's Walk
Violet 2: Violet's Traffic Jam
Violet 3: Violet's Circus
Violet 4: Violet's Haunted House
Violet 5: Violet Goes to School

Well, she's done at least as good of a job coming up with titles as the idiotic bastards that made the Jim Varney Ernest movies. Don't be fooled, though, as the names have almost nothing to do with the play itself. Violet 5: Violet Goes to School, which I saw tonight, consisted of Violet going to the store and buying everything she saw. This involved a blanket on the floor covered in a layer of toys, dolls and decorative items. She crammed them one by one into a small plastic handbag, which was straining at its seams by the halfway point. That was more or less the whole play.

Violet 3: Violet's Circus was performed in the bathroom. It did have stuffed animals dressed rather cleverly to look like circus performers. But, I repeat, it was in the bathroom. With the lights off. So we could see the flashlight/spotlight.

I don't mean to totally bust on Lucy and her dramatic abilities. She has the determination and some good stage presence, but at this age, she obviously doesn't have what it takes to front a presentation that will hold anyone's attention for more than a minute and a half. Of course, the Miko Land plays (in which a series of puppets introduce themselves, fart, then exit stage) are quite amusing, but that's about it. When we all come up with a play or skit together, it's a different story. With just the slightest bit of direction and filtering, she comes up with some great ideas and sticks to the story. But the Violet series is the story of the day, so that's what you're hearing about.

I have been informed that Violet 6 is "coming out" tomorrow. If you want to stop by, the performance is probably free, though you may have to sit on the bathroom floor to watch it.

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