The Hess Report


Monday, February 14, 2005

The Evil Stepmother


Lucy's plays have been getting better. She's not doing the Violet plays anymore, which is kind of sad, but also a relief.

Tonight she came out of her room after closing herself in for almost half an hour and shouted "Who's ready for a Broadway?"

Is that some sort of lovely beverage? Ha! Anyway, "Oooo! Meeeee!"

We all made our way into the room and sat on her bed. She had a blanket spread on the floor with several stuffed animals sitting about. A step stool sat in the middle, her Ikea bear Lellow standing on it, dressed in a scruffy doll shirt and holding a rag.

"Welcome to Cinderella!"

Lellow would be playing the title role, the animals on the ground were the step sisters, Lexan the bear of last year's beach trip fame was Prince Charming, and one of her two dozen cats was Lucifer, the bad cat from Disney's version of the story.

Lucy turned off the main lights, leaving only the magenta glitter lava lamp and a flashlight shining. She turned on the humidifier for a spooky wind effect. And then, she transformed. You may remember my description of her Halloween antics from a couple of years ago. It's gotten better since then. The girl does malice so well it's scary. She walked up to Lello and in a nasty, violent hiss that was somehow over-the-top without overacting, no seriously, said "You will clean the castle. The whole castle! You will not sleep or do anything or put together puzzles! Just clean!"

Then, the lights came on and we moved on to other parts of the story. There was actually a story! Vast improvement over previous plays. The stepsisters whined and made their demands. The lights went off again so the cat could repeatedly maul the poor Cinderellow. We had a few more hilariously chilling visits from the stepmother. Eventually, Maddie was called out of the audience to play the part of the fairy godmother. After Lellow was transformed with the help of a blue t-shirt and blue socks (Cinderella's movie dress is blue), Lexan appeared and they danced. Maddie was asked to be the wicked stepfather, which she did. She proceeded to whip Lexan and Lellow with a Slinky while Lucy cackled in the background.

Finally, Lucy attacked the plush lovers, and Lexan fought back! Apparently, he stabbed her or something, because she died, groaning, in slow motion. Maddie was similaryly dispatched by Lellow.

Bravo. An outstanding play, and certainly a step up from the Disney version. Indeed, the Prince and Cinderella should take their violent revenge on the stepmother. It seems quite natural once you've seen it in action.

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