The Hess Report

Monday, March 28, 2005

Keep Yer Clothes On, Swabby! 

The girls (well, really present!Joy) got my Dad two toys sailboats for his birthday, and they gave them to him while we were there for Easter this weekend. The whole idea was that they could play sailboats with him (he's into sailing) whenever they visit. I start filling the tub with enough water so the keels (these are nice toys) won't scrape the bottom and the boats will actually float. I tell Lucy that she will not be getting a bath tonight, which is an issue, because she loves baths. The water is just for the boats. I go downstairs and send my let my Dad know that the water's running, and, if he wants to play sailboats, he should make his way to the bathroom.

Several minutes later, my Dad appears at the top of the stairs.

"Are they supposed to be getting a bath?" he asks.

Nope. Grr. Lucy. Trot trot, up the stairs.

"What are you guys doing?" I say.

The sailboats are floating happily in the tub. Maddie's in her underwear. Lucy is buck naked. My Dad is standing in the hallway, his Ha! grin fixed firmly on his face.

"Lucy-" is all I get to say now, before she starts to protest.

"Dad! Argh!" She makes a good show of seeming wronged and put-upon.

Maddie stands there looking guilty.

"Lucy, I said this was not a bath."

Lucy grips the air in front of herself and shakes her arms in the universal gesture of horrible frustration.

"Dad!" she yelps. "In case I fall in!"


"It's in case I fall in! I don't what to get my clothes wet!"

Maddie nods. I can feel my Dad laughing from behind me.

"Well at least put some underwear on," I say.

"But what if I fall in?"

If I were fresh, and not tired, I would have pointed out that she was probably planning to "fall in" on purpose, and that I knew it, etc. But, as we were near the end of a long day of traveling and visiting, I chose the way of expediency:

"We have extras."

End of discussion. Clothes back on. Sailboats were played with.

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