The Hess Report


Tuesday, March 15, 2005

So That's Okay Now? 

I'm standing in line at the checkout at Shop 'N Save yesterday. They have installed LCD monitors to keep you less aggravated while you wait, featuring the same kind of content you see at the pre-previews at the movies. News of the day. Local ads. "Games". Games like Celebrity Scramble!

REKTISI LAYEL

Whatever.

On the next screen, they put up the hint.

HINT: FAT ACTRESS

Yikes!

The name of Kirstie Alley's Showtime thing, right? But not everyone knows that. I don't even know how I knew it. I probably shouldn't have. But for everyone else who doesn't know it, and that could be, like, a whole lot of people, they think that Shop 'N Save TV just gave us the hint "fat actress" for Kirstie Alley. Maybe that helped some people solve the celebrity scramble. But that's okay to say out loud now, and put up on video screens in public places, just because it's the name of a TV show?

If the guy in front of me at the store seemed like he wanted to bail for a different line, would it be okay for me to point to the line on checkout five and say "Don't go over there buddy, there's a couple of fat shoppers in line, and they're probably buying a lot of food"?

I think not.

If 50 cent decided to make a show on BET called World's Most Damndest Nigga, would the celebrity scramble read:

05 NECT
HINT: WORLD'S MOST DAMNDEST NIGGA

Once again, not thinking that would be okay.

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