The Hess Report


Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Not In Public, You Won't 

Lucy looooves the poopy talk. The rule at our house is that poopy talk is okay as long as: 1. no one is asking you to stop; 2. you're not at the dinner table. Other than that, we play it pretty loose. She knows that when she's out and about though, there's none of it at all.

At the reception for my sister's wedding this Sunday, we were at a table with my Uncle Ron and his wife Becky, my grandmother, and my brother Ben and his wife Jen. Later in the reception, Lucy was sitting with Ben, and it was suggested (by a party who will not be identified) that she sing the diarrhea song for him that she had recently learned. You know the one:

When you're sliding into first
And you feel it start to burst...
Diarrhea (cha cha cha!)
Diarrhea (cha cha cha!)


I thought she would jump at the chance to sing one of her new favorite songs and engage in the beloved poopy talk in public, having been given permission by both Joy and me to do so. But she didn't want to. Just shook her head. Sometimes she gets shy about singing in public, and she was getting tired, so we didn't encourage her further.

Later, I asked her if she was embarrassed to sing for Ben, but she said "No."

"Dad, it was in public. No poopy talk."

And, wow. Good for her. She took the rule more seriously than either Joy or I did. I think that a lot of people assume that children who are polite or good natured in public are probably just waiting to cut loose at the drop of a hat, because all kids are really wild hellions, don't you know? Apparently, they are not.

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